Journal Entry 2/11/2020

Expansión. Expansión. EXPAND!!!

The only thing on my mind is expansion of the mind itself. Guapruns used to only offer music videos, photos, and one off graphic designs. Now, Guapruns is preparing to offer marketing campaign development and execution, branding, and merchandising.

We have our first client in each of these fields, all of which are returning clients we plan to share profits with. These past couple of months I have realized the importance of letting go and accepting reality. Quite ironically every wish I let go magically seems to appear in my lap days later or simply fade away. I prayed for a fat minute I could design a famous influencer’s clothing brand: granted, I prayed I could practice my degree and develop a marketing campaign: granted, I hoped I could meet a popular rapper to grow Guapruns with: granted. 

Yet, the common factor was that only when I accepted happiness wasn’t going to come from these desires that they came so gracefully. I’m excited as hell but I’m not relying on the success of these new projects to grant me my fulfillment. That’s the secret. 

Guapruns is in great shape. Yet, the last few days I’ve been a bit unmotivated. I wondered why and then realized it was because every single goal I had set out to accomplish had already been met. Had I been too modest in my New Years goal setting? I don’t know but literally a lot of the goals I set in January were met nearly instantly. Now all that’s really left for me to do is follow through with the steps to bring these goals into life. Usually the tough part is finding the right opportunity to lunge at but not this time. My opportunities have been coming as naturally as they  could.

Somehow, my lack of motivation has really kicked in though. I felt for a moment there was no point in following my daily routine if everything I wanted was already here.

However, I found a new goal. My mind is now focused on redeveloping a new skill, and it’s blind self-belief. I’ve always had faith in myself and I’ve been blessed enough to see plenty of my dreams come true to know anything is possible. (With some hard work that is) You know the saying dream so big you feel uncomfortable? Well this new dream of mine makes me feel like the first day I met my in-laws. Let me break it down for you. This new dream isn’t a new job or a skill I want to develop. It’s not even or a material thing it’s an all out way of life. My dream is to live my dream life, and it looks like this:

I own a home in San Diego, a condo in Los Ángeles. I’m married I have a child, a dachshund and a backyard for them both to play in. My parents live 15 minutes away, still in my childhood home, which I’ve paid the mortgage off on and my little sister is my best-friend. Im a Hollywood director/screenwriter. I catch my big break off a viral YouTube web series I created landing me my first big múlti-million dollar budget to produce a full feature film based on the characters in my web series. The film is critically acclaimed for its cinematic achievement and excellence. It even makes its way into Sundance which I attend with my girlfriend, mom, dad, and new found agent. You ever seen entourage? Yeah I live that life but without all the Drama, get it? I’m in development of my second feature film and I have the best actors, writers, cinematographers, all of Hollywood’s royalty at my disposal to make, said film. Life is great, I’m healthy and I’m still close to the people who helped me develop my filmmaking skills. Guapruns flourishes into a multi-million dollar social media digital agency. It’s all gravy. 

So do you see why I’m a little nervous? I know exactly what I want but this dream actually scares me. Have I gone mad? I’ve barley made my first short-film, which I don’t think it was close to Oscar worthy. I tell myself I’m doing everything I can but sometimes I’ll wake up and lay in bed on Instagram for hours just browsing. 

Nonetheless, I’ve been here before. When I bought my first camera for $300.00 off my friend Sage it sat on my desk for three months before I figured out how to use it. I had my entire life up to this current moment I’m living planned out the same way I now have my next life I am going to manifest into reality, it just took a while to gain the energy to get started. Should I beat myself up for taking a moment of stillness to get back on the board and make waves? Probably not, but I should for making corny surf allusions. 
I know I will bring my dream life into reality. I’m growing so much not only in the magnitude of my goals and ambitions but in my personal level of responsibility. I feel prepared to undertake the work it’ll take to perfect my filmmaking talents, and I’m confident I’ll be able to handle the money, fame and lucidity this new life I‘m yearning for will bring.

Dear God, give me the strength and allow me to run even further by your side and of course alongside my family. 

As Always Keep Running. 🏃🏻